We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
