i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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