That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
