I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
