she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
