Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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