so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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