Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
