I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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