you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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