The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
