My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
