5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
