They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
