I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
