Kiss
Puke
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
