I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
