I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
