I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
