Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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