At least make sure they are 18
Why
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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