My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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