Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
