i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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