Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
