Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
