sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
