As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
