Got a toothbrush?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
