Me too!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
