what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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