Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
When are your genitals available?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
