We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He shit in the fireplace
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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