New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
