My nipple is on Facebook.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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