I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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