very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
