it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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