Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
