Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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