i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
