we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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