And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
