what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
