So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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