Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
