i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
3 2 1 whiskey
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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