Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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