ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My liver just broke up with me...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
that's an acceptable place to lick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
