Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
