Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
